You want to read a self-help book, but you’re not sure where to start. Or maybe you’ve read several bestsellers, and are looking for something a bit more quirky to open your eyes to a different perspective.
Self-help books can be superb, but there’s nothing worse than picking one up only to realise it’s a load of gibberish.
Whether you’re in need of habitual advice, philosophical ideas, or even old-school financial principals, there’s a wealth of self-help books at your disposal. So how do you find the right one for you?
I have personally read my fair share of the 85,000 self-help books in circulation, and whilst I have found wisdom in the vast majority, I would be lying if I told you there weren’t one or two I’d rather not touch again…
So, in this piece I’ve included five of my personal favourites. If you’ve read any of them, I’d love to know whether you’re on the same wavelength, or if you’d sooner let your copy collect dust than turn those pages again!
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Now over 35 years old, Stephen R. Covey’s ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ has survived the technological revolution and is still one of the foundational self-help books today.
This particular masterpiece blossomed out of Covey’s work in management training, and his belief that American culture had shifted from a “character ethic” to a “personality ethic.” In short, Covey wanted more people to focus on their inner principles and values, and he encourages this with a systematic framework connecting private life, work, and relationships.
Covey’s work emphasises an inside-out process to self-help, that can be neatly separated into two core categories. The first 3 habits encourage independence, whilst the following 3 explore true interdependence with others, before the final habit reminds readers of the importance of consistent renewal.
You should read it if…
- You’re looking for a practical guide.
- You love a to-do list.
- You believe in systems.
- You enjoy goal setting.
Be prepared for…
- Management language.
- For example, ‘paradigm,’ and, ‘synergy.’
- A formal feel.
Meditations
Marcus Aurelius never meant to be one of the most influential authors in human history, yet his very-own diary continues to echo over 1800 years since he passed.
Marcus Aurelius reigned as the Roman emperor for 19 years, and his reign was built upon his deep relationship with Stoicism. No, Meditations was never meant to be published, but the Emperor’s diary offers an incredible insight into the internal trials, tribulations, and awakenings of the most powerful man on the planet.
Throughout this bundle of wisdom, Marcus repeatedly returns to several core themes: the brevity of life, the need to do your duty in the present, the insignificance of fame, and the importance of treating others justly even when they behave poorly.
More importantly, the overall message is that you cannot control the world, only your own judgment and actions.
Having read several modern self-help books, I felt I had my to-do lists nailed, and was ready for some slightly deeper thinking. That’s exactly what I found with Meditations. Perhaps the most intriguing element of this book is the fact that despite being the most powerful ruler of his time, Marcus Aurelius details many of the internal struggles that us regular folk experience.
Page after page, Marcus explores his own coming to terms with the definitive nature of life, and death itself. Meditations teaches us the importance of living our momentary existence to the fullest, and he reminds us (or himself) that:
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
There are many different editions of Meditations available; I personally went for Modern Library Classics modern translation in a bid to simplify the text.
You should read this book if…
- You enjoy reflective reading.
- You like to annotate & revisit the same pages.
- You find yourself drawn to questions about mortality & character.
Be prepared for…
- ‘Hard’ reading (this may not be your perfect bed time story).
- A lack of “how to” advice.
- A broader, more philosophical view on how to lead your life.
Man’s Search for Meaning
Now, I will warn you. I do happen to have a personal favourite from the self-help sphere, and it is most certainly Victor Frankl’s masterpiece from behind the barbed wires of Auschwitz.
Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who was deported to Nazi concentration camps during the Second World War, including Auschwitz. We all have some familiarity with the horrific stories of Auschwitz, which is what makes Frankl’s work so powerful.
Frankl survived Auschwitz, and he finished Man’s Search for Meaning just weeks after the Second World War came to a close. Whilst processing his experiences was one of his reasons for writing the book, the other was to explain a psychological approach he had developed: logotherapy.
The ultimate goal of Frankl’s work is to highlight how even in the most extreme, dehumanising moments of suffering, one could still find purpose. Within the text, Frankl emphasises that his quest for meaning in Auschwitz was not just comforting, but central to his mental health and survival.
Perhaps the most significant theme of Frankl’s book is that we cannot choose our circumstances, but we can choose our attitude. Frankl argues that human’s are driven by a “will to meaning,” more than by pleasure or power.
Do you agree with him?
Meaning, in Frankl’s view, usually comes through work, love, and the way in which we bear suffering. Of course, Auschwitz is one of the most extreme examples to test this theory, and I pray that neither your or I are forced into a position where our character is tested against such evil. But, the philosophical lens through which Frankl viewed the world is still relevant to each and every one of you.
You should read this book if…
- You are prone to existential questions about purpose.
- You are struggling with grief or despair.
- You are burdened with a sense of emptiness despite great success.
Be prepared for…
- A first hand perspective of one of the most ghastly chapters in human history.
- Frankl to turn the spotlight on your own assumptions about suffering & purpose.
- A philosophical shift rather than a guide.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Next up on the list, we’re heading down a different path. The destination? Babylon.
George S. Clason was not a monk of ancient Bablyon, but a 20th century businessman who wrote financial booklets for American banks and insurance companies in the 1920s. In an attempt to make financial lessons more memorable, he wrapped them in a set of short stories set in Babylon, which was then seen as a symbol of wealth and trade.
In The Richest Man in Babylon, Clason divides the book into, “seven cures for a lean purse,” or in more simple terms: financial comfort. The book has a mythical feel to it, yet many of the steps are practical to this day.
No, you won’t find any charts or economic language, and this probably won’t be your cup of tea if you want to work within finance. But, if like me numbers aren’t your closest ally, this is a superb place to build your understanding of the savings and investing basics.
You should read this book if…
- You’re a University student coming to terms with the daunting world of personal finance.
- You want to build your financial literacy without enduring endless charts and formulas.
- You want a simple financial framework based on consistent habits.
Be prepared for…
- Old-fashioned storytelling and examples.
- Timeless principles, not modern details of debt, inflation, and index funds.
- Constant repetition of the core principles (it is meant to teach you, not annoy you)!
How to Win Friends & Influence People
I spent a significant amount of time avoiding reading this book. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to be caught read handed reading a book titled “How to win friends,” largely to protect my ego.
But in truth, that ever-so shallow thought process held me back from what is a true gem of a book. And if you want to expand your knowledge of persuasion and influence, this is an excellent place to start.
The author, Dale Carnegie, dedicated a significant portion of his life to teaching public speaking and human relations courses to a wide range of workers in the US. At its heart, How to Win Friends & Influence People seeks to explain that your success with other people relies on habits that are far too often neglected.
The habits include: take a genuine interest in others, remember names, listen more than you speak, and look to view things more from others perspective. I know that you’re probably thinking just how obvious the aforementioned habits are, but if you take a moment to reflect, do you always ensure that you fulfil them?
Have you not forgotten a client’s name mid call? Have you not become overly defensive when faced with a different point of view? I certainly am guilty of failure in these departments, and Carnegie’s book sheds light on just how important these ‘simple’ concepts are in our relationships with others.
On the flip side, whenever I come across an influence or persuasion based book, I am conscious of the potentially manipulative behaviour they often encourage. But, in Carnegie’s case, this book steers clear of manipulation, and is packed full of short rules, examples, and anecdotes from business, political, and everyday life.
You should read this book if…
- You want to improve your public speaking & interpersonal skills.
- You are interested in leadership.
- You prefer concrete examples to abstract theory.
Be prepared for…
- A writing style from the 1930s.
- Advice that feels obvious (until you realise you rarely do it).
- An incentive to reflect on your own actions if Carnegie’s advice is to be helpful.
So there you have it, my top 5 self-help books. With these five picks, you’ll obtain new insights on four fundamental areas of your life: your purpose, your habits, your money, and your relationships with others. I’d be surprised if you agreed with every page of each book, but I’d be even more shocked if you were unable to find at least one nugget of wisdom in each of them.
If you’ve read any of these books, I’d love to hear your thoughts and your answer to a question intertwined within them all: what does a good life look like to you?
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